Co-parenting with someone who broke your trust is one of the harder ongoing challenges after infidelity. You're being asked to separate your role as a parent from your feelings as a betrayed spouse, often before you've had time to fully process either.
Keep the business of co-parenting separate
Many co-parents find it helpful to communicate about logistics, schedules, school, and health, through a dedicated co-parenting app or a consistent written channel, rather than mixing those conversations with unresolved relationship issues.
Children don't need to know the details
It's natural to want your children to understand what happened, especially if you feel they're getting an incomplete picture. Most family therapists advise against sharing details of infidelity with children, regardless of age, because it puts them in a position of judging a parent rather than simply being parented by both.
Watch for using kids as messengers
Under stress, it's easy to slip into asking a child to relay information, or to ask a child questions about the other household. Even well-intentioned versions of this put children in the middle. A neutral third party, a co-parenting counselor, or a parenting coordinator can help if direct communication with your co-parent is difficult.
Get your own support
Processing the betrayal with a therapist, coach, or support group, separately from your children, makes it easier to keep your parenting relationship businesslike and focused on their needs.